Once, I felt, I had too much to do. Too many tasks, more than I could ever finish. Too many puzzles that are waiting to be solved at the same time. You know that feeling of being trapped, being powerless, anxious and broken…
Then, I recognized that neither the number of tasks nor the pressure of deadlines, would change how many of these I could deliver. I could work eight hours productively, maybe a few hours more once in a while. Being a regular human being and being in denial of my regularity, I found that what I am able to deliver wouldn’t change by how much I was asked to deliver. I could produce only so much. I almost can’t choose what is thrown at me. I accepted that.
It was one of these moments, all of a sudden, you would see the world around differently. You would observe the same problem but with an answer attached to it this time. Some call it “aha” moment, some call it a paradigm shift. It was one of these moments that we experience less and less with age. I envy the ability of grasping new ideas of a child’s unconditioned brain. The moment we can get out of that conditioning jail and override a belief we have been carrying for decades, we become a different person. Likely a better person, leaving a little more foolish version of ourselves behind.
I recognized that I am truly able to work on only one thing at a time. That is how I am encoded. My brain can’t focus more than one thing at a time. So it is not about how many different tasks I have, It is about what I choose to work on. At any given time, I will be working on only one task. I will invest eight or so number of hours everyday and I never have to worry about anything but the task I am on. That is how human brain is wired. It is pointless to ignore the scientific facts. Understanding the reality and being able to change the story I have been telling myself is surely enlightening.
I realized, it is not how much I am asked to deliver, it is how much I ask myself to deliver. If I am here at this point, that is because of millions maybe billions of decisions I have made during my entire life. That is because of what I had chosen to focus for years and years until this point. What i choose to do now will define where I will be tomorrow. As all we do, I curve out my destiny one decision at a time. Every decision I make, is not a decision about what to do. It’s a decision about who I am. I choose who I am becoming, now, right now, by writing about it.
So you choose who you are becoming, by reading it.